And Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
by mindovermadness
Summary: Granting forgiveness is for those who are not saints


**And Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep**

_**And now I lay me down to sleep**_

_They_ say "Time heals all wounds" but _they_ never met you, Love. Sure, in time, scars fade and pain becomes a fleeting memory. Broken hearts mend and lives can be pieced back together. Trust can be re-earned and sins forgiven… in time.

That's what I used to believe anyway. That was what kept me going for a long time, the promise that if I managed to hold out long enough, I could be forgiven.

You never thought there was anything to forgive. As a child, you accepted the burdens placed on your shoulders without complaint and stood strong where even grown men would have crumbled from the weight.

For as long as you could remember you had been neglected and abused by those who were meant to protect you, ridiculed by those who should have been family, betrayed by those who would call themselves 'friend'. When you came to Hogwarts, it never changed. You sat there in your desk trying your hardest to fit in but you were not one made to be in the background.

With each passing year, your troubles and burdens grew but still you said nothing. You played the role assigned to you with a smile on your face. You never let anyone see just how much it hurt to being wanted only because of your name or some deed you cannot remember. You sat upon the pedestal that the world placed you on and got back up every time the world shoved you of in one of its bouts of fickleness.

_**I pray the gods my soul to keep**_

You hid from everyone the scars you carried, both inside and out. You never let them see you bleed or let them see you weak. You bent over backwards to live up to their lofty expectations. You would have cut out your own heart and presented it on a silver platter for a few kind and sincere words.

You gave until you had nothing left to give and still kept on giving. What few realized before it was too late was that you were a saint. Where others would have cracked under the pressure and never ending scrutiny, you stood tall. When others would have run for cover, you lead the forward charge. Where any other might take the easy way out in an impossible situation, you took the hard road all the while changing impossible to merely improbable.

_They _also say, "Big things come in small packages". Perhaps that was a prophecy that no one bothered to look into. You were always small for your age. Years without proper food and being locked in small spaces kept you from reaching your full potential because magic can only do so much. Regardless of your size, you packed a punch. You were the smallest in your graduating class but magically, no one on the planet even came close to you. I guess size really does not mater after all and I would not have changed your body for the world not when you fit in my arms so perfectly.

You never did a selfish thing in your life. You fought a war not of your own making because we asked you to. You repeatedly faced a madman because others would not. You carried the burdens of others on shoulders to narrow to carry your own simply because you felt it was right.

In everything you did, you worked to make things better for others. You hid your intelligence so others could take the spotlight. You acted as a mediator so that your classmates could have at least a moment's peace. You took the blame to keep others out of trouble. You rid our world of the worst Dark Lord to date and made sure to belittle your own efforts so that others were acknowledged.

Even when I treated you like utter garbage, you did not hold it against me. When the Wizarding World turned its back on you, calling you a murderer, because you had done what it asked of you, you gracefully slid into the shadows. Ten years later, when your friends were found slaughtered in their beds and all evidence pointed to you, you went quietly not making a fuss or fighting even though you were innocent. You said not a word when they sentenced you to life in Azkaban without a trial.

_**And should I die before I wake**_

I tried to apologize for what had happened to you whenever I came to visit, but you always said, "There is nothing to forgive." Five years into your sentence the Ministry was overhauled and you were finally given a fair trial. They proclaimed you innocent of all charges having finally captured the last of the Death Eaters and finding the one responsible. You just shrugged it off and went on with your life.

At the relatively young age of 35, you came to me one night at Hogwarts and asked to use my lab to brew a single potion. I gave you access to anything you needed no questions asked. When you did not come out after a day and a half, I went to check on you. You were sitting on the stool by a freshly scrubbed cauldron lying across the workbench. You looked so at peace in your much-needed rest. You looked like a student who had drifted off to sleep during a lecture.

There lying in front of you was a note, the ink still fresh. I picked you up and carried you back to my quarters after reading the parchment. Laying you down on the bed, I brush your hair from your eyes, kiss your forehead and take a vial from the pocket of your robes. Moving to the desk, I quickly pen a letter and send it off with my raven, Hermes, to Minerva before joining you on the bed. Uncorking the vial I tipped it back drinking the pale lavender elixir before gathering you close and drifting off.

"_My Dearest Severus, _

_I'm simply too tired for this. I remember what you said that day. Just before I walked away to join the Order at the last battle, you grabbed my arm and said 'I cannot live without you'. I've made enough for two. Please forgive me for being so selfish. _

_--Love always, Harry"_

"_Minerva, _

_I release you from your oath of secrecy. I've known for a while now that Harry would grow tired. Please do as you see fit. I apologize for such abruptness but there really is no question that I would follow Harry anywhere._

_Be at peace my friend._

_--Severus"_

**Daily Prophet**

**BRAVE SOULS LOST!**

Early this morning the bodies of two War Heroes were found at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry Potter and Severus Snape died last evening after drinking _Requiem of Peace_. Said potion is a draft that allows its drinker to drift gently into sleep before dieing quietly and at peace.

The Wizarding World will mourn the loss of the Potter-Snapes who would have celebrated their 18th Anniversary today. Those closest to the couple will be holding a memorial this Friday at sunset.

Current Minister for Magic, Amelia Bones, had this to say 'I know I speak for all of us when I say, I truly hope that Harry and Severus can forgive us for the atrocties that were forced upon them by our world. Both carried burdens that would have crippled any one of us. They will never be forgotten nor will their sacrifices.' …

_They_ say, "Time heals all wounds". Scars fade and pain becomes a fleeting memory, broken hearts mend and lives can be pieced back together, trust can be re-earned and sins forgiven. Time can only heal so much when everything piles up at once. Granting forgiveness is for those who are not saints. _They_ are not you. There's nothing to forgive.

_**I pray the gods my soul to take.**_


End file.
